I am not one that likes a lot of change. I have a hard time
with accepting change, and I struggle adapting to change. Whether it’s a new
job, new things going on at my job, a new doctor, a new schedule, and pretty
much a “new” or “different” anything.
So, now I have all of this change thrown at me at once. I
have to find a new job, give notice at my current job (which I’ve never had to
do for a job I actually liked!), find somewhere to live in Sioux Falls, and
move. All before May 1st. HEEELLP!! Oh, and in amongst all of this,
plan my wedding. Which will be here before we know it, and even though everyone
says everything will “come together”, I don’t believe them. There is still so
much I haven’t decided on or even thought of for this wedding that I feel like
I have nothing accomplished. Needless to say all of this is causing an
extremely overwhelming amount of stress on me. I have applied for four jobs,
and had one phone interview which called me back for an in person interview
(yay! Cross your fingers!) I have told my boss that I will be moving, but
haven’t given an official notice as I do not want to put the cart before the
horse. We found a place to live in Sioux Falls but are waiting on a phone call
to tell us that they will accept us. Who knew it was so damn hard to rent an
apartment these days?! They practically need your first born child.
I knew the day would come that we would be moving. I am not
sad, I am not angry, I am not scared. I am simply anxious. I have lived in
Aberdeen for over six years already, and when I met Matthew and we started
dating one of the first things he told me about his job is that he is in a “mobile”
profession, meaning every 3 or so years he is able for promotions; which means
moving to a different council. Both of us have been wanting to get out of
Aberdeen for about a year now. When his bosses presented him with an
opportunity in Sioux Falls last February, we got really excited. Little did we know
it would take them on year (to the day!) to officially offer him the position. There
was no way I was going to say no, because it was either that or move somewhere
farther away. His goal is to get closer to his mom, and by moving to Sioux
Falls we are doing just that.
We got about a 10 week “notice” that we will be moving. I am
not sure if having this much time is good or bad. It’s been nice because we
didn’t have to rush into anything, but at the same time, a whole month has
already gone by, leaving us with about 6 weeks. My job requires a 30 day
notice, and that time frame is already creeping up on me without even having a
job to go to in Sioux Falls. Knowing that we were approved for our apartment
and it is as ours as of April 15 also relaxes us. We have extra time to get
things moved, rather than having a couple of days to do it all and then start
our new jobs.
Having all of this time has me about as anxious as I have
ever been. All I can think about is how much we have to do. All of the packing
that needs to be done, the storage unit full of things that we need to go
through and pack/get rid of, we need to CLEAN our apartment from top to bottom,
we still don’t have the holes from the pipe issue in our ceiling fixed, I
already gave notice to my landlord and what if she decides we didn’t give enough
notice? HOW are we going to get all of our belongings and (potentially) three vehicles
moved to Sioux Falls? Where are we going to put everything? We are losing out
on a giant closet that stored most of our “extras” (holiday stuff, summer
stuff, lawn chairs, etc).
And then there are these thoughts. How am I going to adjust
to living in Sioux Falls? I’ve been in the same town for six years, same
apartment for four, same job for two. I don’t like starting over at new jobs
and going through the learning process. How are we going to afford the rent? It’s
almost double what we are paying now. What are we going to have to cut back on
to make this work? I know Matthew is getting a raise, and I know we will save
some money from not having a storage unit and some other things. I know that we
both used to pay our own rent, which equaled more than what our new place will
be. How are we going to afford our wedding with all of these added expenses?
How is everything going to be okay when right now I feel like I don’t even know
which way is up?
I need a lot of reassurance in the next month. I need people
to calm me down when I get worked up; I need to remember that this is something
that I’ve wanted for the last year. I need people to set me straight when I
start thinking that none of this is going to work out. I need to remember that
God has a plan for us, and even if it doesn’t seem like it He is looking out us
and our best interests. I need to
continue my routine that I have here and not worry about tomorrow, or the next
day, or the next week, or even the next month.
Everything will work out. It has to.
